Bloop
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16 and not pregnant

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

Before you know it it’s 3 am and you’re 80 years old and you can’t remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart.

—This is the scariest fucking text post I’ve ever read  (via intensional)

cootyxqueen:

this was actually the funniest scene on the office ever

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

naking:

mom, dad… i’m…. RANDOM!! LOL XD

dekutree:

can you smell what the rock is cooking?

image

empandas de queso para ti y todos tus amigos jajajaja tambien hice un jugito de mango

gracias, tia roca

krisvanassche:

KRISVANASSCHE denim belt

krisvanassche:

KRISVANASSCHE denim belt

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